During my #BrassyBlogJulyChallenge I will continue to explore the topic of "Bullies and Opposition" chronologically. I will also be covering times where I feel I was the asshole in the story. I am a firm believer that we are all assholes in life, we just take turns.
One of the earliest times I feel I was a jerk to someone was when I was in third grade. There was a girl named Sheila who was always picked on. During recess I saw a couple of boys pull her off of the monkey bars. I immediately felt bad her. She landed with a thud and her glasses had fallen off of her face. I had just got glasses myself and knew what a pain they could be if they got scratched up. I ran over and handed her glasses to her and held out my hand to help her up. Sheila took my hand and stood up. In my mind I thought our exchange went well and we would cordially part our ways. Sheila then looked at me and shoved me to the ground. I was shocked. I had just helped her out of this same situation and this is how she repays me? I want to say that I gracefully got up and walked away chalking it all up to some weird wiring in her noggin, but I didn't. I stood up, and shoved Sheila back on the ground as I had found her. I could have been "the bigger person" but I wasn't. I figured I would leave her just as I found her and vowed never to help her again.
Looking back on it, I think she may not have known how to respond to someone being nice to her. She may have been so used to being on her defense that any act of kindness shown to her was foreign to her. She may have seen my kindness as a weakness allowing her to even her scales by letting the negativity pass from her to me. Who really knows. I do know that I handled that situation wrong in hindsight, I mean come on. I was only 9. I have always struggled with not handling situations with an "Eye for an Eye" mentality, and I can see that was present even in my younger years.
My take away:
- Not everyone is in a place to accept help or want help.
- People react differently to negative and positive behavior for a multitude of different reasons, many we may never know and kids are no different.
- Be kind without the expectation of having it reciprocated.
- Sheila did not ask for my help. My kindness did not have to reciprocated. I should have just helped her up and maintained my intent to help without expecting her to appreciate my help.
- Everyone responds to situations differently.
- Sometimes people do not know how to accept kindness because it is very foreign to them.
- Kids can be assholes
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