Chocolate Cherry Chip Cookie Recipe

Chocolate Cherry Chip Cookie Recipe

• 1 cup Maraschino Cherries 
• 1/3 cup Olive Oil
• 1/3 cup Butter
• 1 Egg
• 2 1/4 cups All-purpose flour
• 1/4 tsp Almond extract 
• 1 tsp Baking powder
• 3/4 cup Bittersweet chocolate chips
• 1 1/4 cup light brown sugar

If you find that you love this recipe, (I know I have) you might want to experiment with other variations!

• You can swap out the chocolate chips for white chocolate or even butterscotch chips!
• You might also feel like adding walnuts or pecans in the place of or in addition too the cherries!

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat oven to 350°F. 
2. Set aside 2 cookie un-greased cookie sheets (you can line them with parchment paper if you prefer.)
3. In a mixing bowl add oil, butter and sugar. 
4. Beat on low speed for 2-3 minutes, until fluffy.
5. Add egg and almond extract 
6. Mix until combined.
7. With a spatula, scrape the sides of the bowl and mix that into the dough.
8. Gently, stir in the flour and baking powder.
9. Turn mixer off and with a spatula, fold in cherries and chocolate chips.
10. With a large ice-cream scoop, drop cookie dough on prepared baking sheets.
11. Bake in preheated oven for 12-13 minutes or until edges are golden brown.
12. Remove from oven and cool completely on baking sheets.

Note: The cookies will remain moist and delicious. it is recommended that you store the cookies in an airtight container for up to 1 week although ours never last that long!

My #MeToo Story. "IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN I WILL WRECK YOU!!!!!!"

In light of the recent Harvey Weintstein scandal there has been a movement across social media to use the hashtag #Metoo to share , if we are comfortable to do so, our own personal experiences with sexual assault and harassment. I had pondered sharing one of my situations but I struggle with taking it from my vault and putting it into words in a way where it can be understood in its multiple layers and points of view. I figured I would narrow my story down to the one that I learned the most from and the most recent. I was definitely in a toxic environment where women were not wanted.

I had moved back home from Indiana with my Fiance and I was looking for work. I am not a picky person when it comes to where I need to work to get money rolling in. I was 28 at the time and had already been a cosmetologist, Store manager and worked in the Auto industry so I felt pretty confident about my skill set and set out applying for jobs anywhere I could with my fiance.

A couple weeks went by and both of us received a call from a paper mill who was hiring for multiple positions. My Aunt had worked for 20 years in a paper mill and had shared some awful stories of huge cockroaches, it was incredibly hot and smelly, but left out the part where she was one of just a few women in the entire facility where she worked. I had no idea how much of a role that would play in my future.

The day I got the call to show up for my first interview was also the day my fiance got his. I was getting offered a non union , salary position in their quality department and my fiance was offered a spot in their union production side of the operations. We joked at how weird it was going to be if they ever had to strike during contract negotiations and he was sent to picket and I was sent to be a "scab" worker. Fast forward to my first couple of weeks on the job. I finished up training on first shift and I absolutely loved the job so far. I worked in a lab, i ran tests my whole shift. I was learning the ins and out of productions and saw that I could easily keep climbing if I wanted too. Training took place on first shift and i was told that when I was done I would be taking my full time position on third to cover for the man that was soon retiring. I had hated working third shift in the past and really dreaded it. I didn't want to work all night and sleep all day but then my fiance also got schedule for third so we were both happy about it in the end.

During my third week on the job , it was rough. I was the only woman in the entire building. I had not anticipated that at all and I had no idea the crap storm it would cause. I was confident I could handle anything that was tossed at me due to my 'Brassy" nature, the fact I had worked in an industrial environment before, and I have a thick skin. Let me tell you, all of those things I just listed was probably the reason why I survived at all.
During my first week on my own I was verbally attacked on a regular basis. I would go to check our production reel numbers to make sure my quality reports were on the same number as the product they had coming off of our rewinder so our data matched the product. I was "being hazed" I'm pretty sure. I am a big mouth by nature, but when I am joining a new job or meeting new people I am quiet. I like to get a feel of the who what and where before I decide how much of my Brassy ways I can comfortably let out. When I was verbally attacked the first time I was told to "Shut the fuck up before they mad me shut up" when I simply asked what reel number they were on. It pained me not to retort back because I really wanted too but I was in a new place and outnumbered 6 to 1. 5 "men" sat and watched this go on and said nothing. I didn't want to say anything because I needed the job and I felt it would pass. I mean, yeah it sucked but I was just getting my barrings and words only hurt me if I give them power. So I let it roll.  A few weeks went by and I had a run in with their Boss. On company power level, he was my equal. I had called down to the Machine control and told them I had to odd-lot some paper and why so they could make the appropriate changes. Their manager answered the phone and told me I better shut my mouth or he was going to come down and "bitch slap me". I was starting to see a pattern here. There were no other female employees around. Management and employees were allowed to run around shout threats of assault. To make a long story short, that is where I drew the line and took this particular matter to my boss and told him what was said. I did not know it, but the manager who threatened me went behind me to my boss and tried to make it out like he was stressed and may have snapped at me". When my Boss heard what he actually said and that the men he said it in front of were gong to side with me he had no choice to back down and my Boss gave me the option to pursue the threat and get him fired or have him reprimanded and put on his record and put on last chance. I must have felt extra forgiving because I went with option 2. The odd thing is, he was actually crying when he came to apologize to me. I didn't know if it was from his broken pride or if he felt shameful, but we actually were able to push past that experience and joke about him being an asshole years later. I think it was a culture shock having a female on the shift for the first time for everyone involved, but that is no excuse.

FAST FORWARD to my #MeTOO moment...

Part of the culture shock was the fact that being the only female on my shift and 1 of 8 spread across the three shifts, there were things they had not run up against before. The first tour of the recycled paper warehouse was one of them! Being that I worked in a paper mill that only used recycled paper, guess what was on the floor of our paper warehouse? Playboys, Hustlers, and any other type of XXX adult publications! Not even "up to date" ones, but those of the 1970 and 1980's where the bush flowed freely. Every cubicle and nook the guys worked out of had nude chic calendars. This was an HR Nightmare if I had ever seen one, but guess what? We didn't have an HR. NOPE! There was not a human resource person when I was hired. Some employees didn't wear shirts when it was hot and they smoke openly in the facility full of paper! It was nuts. I had never seen anything like it. I felt like I was teleported back to the 1950's.

As time went on , these things slowly and begrudgingly changed. We finally got a human resource person and she went to town bringing the mill up to speed and out of the "Good ole Boys Club" it had morphed into. The smut mags and nude calendars were removed or tucked out of sight over time, but the culture remained the same. One night, while I was on third shift the paper had a break and when that happens all of the guys have to rush out to the machine and it can take hours for it to be up and running again. This meant that I could stop testing paper and sit down, pull out a book eat my lunch, play on my phone as I had my lab all to myself. On day shift the lab is full of people, but on third is was just me and I grew to love it until I met Bill. Bill was a first shift employee I had not met before. He worked on first shift but would come in randomly 4 hours early on 3rd shift and work in shipping. When he paper broke on the nights Bill would come up to my lab to "Talk". I didn't know Bill so my feelers were out. I noticed an arrogance about him. I noticed that he made himself very comfortable in my lab as if I had invited him to pull up a chair and sit a few feet next to me. I didn't think anything of it, I figured he was just bored as much as I was, until one night. On a normal night, during a normal paper break Bill entered my lab and walked right up to me and put his hand on my arm as I was looking up at a computer on the wall taking down data for the paper break. I felt his hand on my arm and I looked at him while trying to figure out why he was touching me. I am a BIG person on personal space. I will hug the shit out of my loved ones, but I am very selective on who I allow into my bubble. I knew sure as shit he was not on the VIP list. Bill then took his hand and started rubbing my bare skin. It was summer and I was wearing a normal t-shirt. He then started telling me my skin was soft and that is when my mind chose one of the three F's.

Fight, Flight, Or Freeze. 

In that moment I chose fight. I don't know if it was because I've had enough of all of the bullshit. If I was by nature a fighter? At that moment I turned to Bill and ripped my arm away from him , made a fist and put it in his face and rawred in my best dragon voice ,

"IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN I WILL WRECK YOU!!!!!!" .

Bill took a step back then smiled. I charged him and told him to get out of my lab and he better never return. I must have been persuasive enough because he never did. BUT, Bill may have been gone but he was not done. I didn't know what to do about it. It was his word against mine. I had already had issues with verbal abuse and was afraid of being the boat rocker. The whistle blower. I told myself that I had handled it. I didn't let anything happen. There were no other women around for me to compare notes with. I just let it drop right there... Anytime I saw Bill around I would lock my lab door. I would do it without hesitation. I didn't care if  it looked weird. I didn't care what anyone thought. I was my priority.

Fast forward 5 years...

 I was no longer on third in the lab. I had been given a lead spot running my own training team in a nice little office out the main action on first shift. I liked it. I worked with 2 of my friends, they reported to me and we worked like a well oiled machine. Life was good. On occasion I would have to go to my old lab every now and then to build new training manual for testing processes and I would chit chat with my fellow coworkers in the lab. On one of these trips I stopped to visit with the first shift tester "Tamara".  She was new. She had only been there a couple of weeks. She seemed to be in a good mood until she saw Bill. I had forgotten he was even on the same shift as me because I was no longer crossing paths with him, but the look on her face showed me she had crossed paths with him. It is like seeing him while talking to me made Tamara break down. She turned to me and told me she needed my help. That Bill had been coming in early and she had been coming in early which would put both of them on third shift at the same time. She proceeded to share that he started to touch her a couple weeks ago, just little touches and she didn't know what to do. She was in tears telling me that when she had come in earlier on the shift that he had walked in the lab behind her , grabbed her around her waist and held her in place then he started kissing her neck. She was a married woman of 25 years. She had three kids . She was terrified . Her husband and Bill knew each other from being on the same Union Board for two businesses in the city. Tamara's guard was already down with Bill because she had met him with her husband at fundraisers and knew of him as her husbands friend. She told me she didnt want to do this alone but she couldn't.  I told her that I had my own run in with Bill years ago and know she isn't lying. I told her she needed to tell our boss because the situation with Bill had escalated to a point that had her mortified. She was sobbing and broken. I knew that when she asked me to help her I was agreeing to be her shield. I knew that she did not fight, or flight, but instead she froze. It broke my heart to see her frozen. I was 4 months pregnant with my first child and selfishly thought, "I cant be bothered with this. Why did she have to ask me for help? I was bloated, in pain, stressed as it is and to even think about going after a serial sexual harasser was a mountain I was tired and terrified to climb, but what were my options?" I decided to do what I felt in my heart was right and to pray to God to give me the strength to pull us through it.

Fast forward a couple weeks.....

I'm not going to lie, but those couple weeks we just zoomed by...were hell. I knew they would be but I had no idea in what way. Being that we worked in a union paper-mill but we were management and Bill was Union, he had to have a union rep present with him when the meeting was held to discuss the accusations being brought forward from the company. Once the meeting was over the "witch hunt" began. The company did not share the accusers name, so Tamara and I were safe for the moment. Now, perhaps you thought  it would have been the stereotypical band of men hunting for the females who were going after "one of their own" but it wasn't. It was our fellow women coworkers. Talk about adding salt to the wound. It was stressful enough trying to keep our identities safe while everything was unraveling let alone have to be hunted as if we were the predators. Tamara was in the clear. No one suspected her. She was new. She was quiet. She tried hard to be liked by everyone by bringing in baked goods and pop for everyone. That brought me relief. Over the past five years the ratio of women vs men in the paper-mill was still severely balanced and the ones that were working only worked on first shift.  I had become friends with all of them to some extent and that is when i started to see yet a different layer to sexual harassment. The protectors.

I never, in a gazillion years would have thought that the most vocal crowd defending Bill were the handful of women in the mill. It never crossed my mind. I was hearing a wide range of comments. Some claimed they had been in a relationship with him and he wasn't like that, that Bill was just a "touchy feely" guy who liked to flirt. They were viciously denouncing all claims of harassment and saying that whoever was coming out against him was lying and leading him on. They started to attack one another and suspect each other of being the whistle blower. It was disgusting. A part of me felt sad for them too because it was clear that he was grooming them all of these years. He was making each of them feel like they were his only chosen one but in reality anyone who wouldn't or couldn't  say no was. As the weeks went on more people ended up speaking out against Bill. I was yet again shocked. Men and women were coming forward. It had gotten out somehow that I was the "whistle-blower" even though I was not technically the one, but I took the title so Tamara wouldn't have too. I didn't have to work down in the lab around everyone anymore and people started coming to me to talk to me about what Bill had done to them and asking how they could be added to the growing pool of the harassed. In the end Bill was fired. He admitted that he did everything that everyone had accused him of. There was never any further action against him. After Bill was fired more stories came out and more people felt comfortable to share their stories.  I did hear through a family friend that he ended up getting a new job where they worked and got fired for sexual harassment there too. I am not surprised as time went on and the more stories came out it was clear that Bill was a predator. He had a pattern to his behavior. He targeted the new hires. The fresh meat. The people nobody knew. The people who needed the job. The people who would have felt the most vulnerable, working alone with no one else around. Predators look for prey where they know they will find it. Bill taught me how to be unapologetic to future predators I have come across. That is another #metoo story for a different day.

Looking back...

If you've never been in a situation where you have to choose to Fight, Flight, or Freeze you might never realize it doesn't even feel like a choice. It is like a game show wheel that you spin and you have to do what it says where-ever the arrow lands. Every situation is different for everyone. Its really easy for us to cast judgement from the outside and say that we can't believe that a person was allowed to feast on so many people for so long without being caught. No one factors in the human factor. We are all wired differently and some have been wired a predator since birth. It is hard being the lone voice going up against a skilled predator. It is hard speaking out knowing there is a possibility of being shut down and ignored. It can be hard for those who feel powerless. That their harasser can destroy them in ever sense of the word. Not everyone is OK with confrontation! Often you have no idea others are going through the same thing you are. Hell, many things happen to us and while it is happening to us we don't even realize how messed up the situation really is until we are away from it. I can see how it is hard for people to want to come forward. It is easy to sit on the outside and judge those going through the darkness for not using a flashlight, so don't. I am happy I listened to Tamara and helped her find her voice because it helped us all as a group find our voice. Some of the hardest things in life are the ones worth doing, and this was definitely one of those times. I still wonder why it was easy for me to help Tamara speak up but not myself. I feel like we tend to diminish the importance of things when they happen to us. Like we bargain with ourselves on the seriousness of a situation ? I like to try to pull as many positives out of a situation as I can. I know that dealing with these trials and tribulations taught me a lot and I will be able to be there for my kids if they find themselves in a similar situation.

We are worth the fight. You are worth the fight. All of us are worthy of our truth. 

Need help?

Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.

For more information Head to Rainn's website .

Yummy Grilled Sweet Corn Recipe

Yummy Grilled Sweet Corn on the Cob

We were so happy to see our old Sweet Corn Stand out in the country had opened up again! We were even more excited to pick how we were going to cook it!

We decided to toss it on the grill and I thought I'd share how we did it!

Ingredients: 

Sweet Corn

Butter

Salt 

Pepper

Additional Stuff:

Aluminium Foil

Grill

Tongs

Tray

1. Gently pull the husk down from the ear of corn exposing the corn silk.
2. Remove all of the corn silk from each ear of corn.
3. Once you finish removing the corn silk from each ear of corn, you can prepare the corn for grilling by adding additional seasoning if desired.
1. We chose to taking a stick of butter and run it up and down the ear of corn and sprinkles lightly with a bit of salt and pepper.
4. Once you have seasoned the ear of corn to your liking, gently pull the corn husks back up one by one sealing the entire ear of corn with its original husks.
5. Wrap each sweet corn with aluminium  from top to bottom the best you can.
6. We cooked ours on our gas grill on medium heat for 40 minutes. 
7. You will want to use tongs to handle the corn and while your checking to see if it is done.
8. A good way to see if the corn is done beyond visual is by taking something pointy and poking at the kernels . If they give little to no resistance then they are done. You will also notice the more you cook them the more aromatic they will become.
9. When they are done and cooled off, remove the extra husks serve and enjoy!

Possible seasoning ideas are (but definitely not limited too):

• Spread a mix of butter, minced garlic and salt on the corn before grilling then wrap and grill as described above.
• Spread a mix of Cilantro, mayo or butter, Lime juice, and chili powder on the corn before grilling then wrap and grill as described above.
• Spread basil pesto mix on the corn before grilling then sprinkle with Parmesan cheese before serving

My Secret to fluffy Scrambled Eggs

I love scrambled eggs.

I love them plain, with cheese, with bacon or ham mixed in, and sprinkled with salt and pepper. I used to add milk to the mix because that is how I was taught to make scrambled eggs. I have swapped out my milk for a dollop of sour cream in my scrambled eggs mix and I have not looked back! I can not taste the sour cream, but I can taste the results! The addition of the sour cream to the eggs allows them to cook evenly and retain moisture resulting in them being deliciously fluffy! Give it a try! 

Quick and Easy Beef Stroganoff Recipe

I was in a pinch one night for dinner. I had never made any version of Stroganoff before but my mom used too. I had always had it with beef chunks opposed to beef hamburger was all that I has and it turned out fantastic! Here is my quick and easy recipe!

Ingredients:

• One bag of egg noodles 
• 1/2 to a pound of hamburger (depending on how much you beef you prefer)
• 2 cups sour cream
• 2-3 cans of cream of mushroom soup (depending on how much of a creamy mushroom base you want, I used three because my husband loves it extra creamy and I like it either way)
• Dissolve the appropriate amount of Beef bouillon according to the type you have to make 2 cups of beef broth.
• 1/2 cup of Parmesan Cheese

You can always add these for a different spin to this recipe:

• Mushrooms
• Peas
• Onions
• Diced Potatoes

What to do!?

1. I start first by filling a large boiling pot with water 1/2 way
2. Add the beef ( as stated, I used hamburger)
3. Boil the beef until it is fully cooked while chopping it into tiny crumbles with a plastic spatula.
4. Once the beef is cooked and chopped , add your bag of egg noodles. 
5. Add the 2 cups of beef bullion that you have made on the side
6. Once the egg noodles are done cooking in the boiling beef water, add the Cream of Mushroom Soup, Sour Cream, Parmesan Cheese and let continue to cook and melt together whole stirring and folding in all of the ingredients.
7. Lower the heat to Low Once the meat, noodles, and additional ingredients are thoroughly mixed and continue to stir. 
8. Once you feel all of the ingredients are thoroughly mixed , remove from heat and  let cool before serving.

This dish can be a main course served with traditional bread and butter or easily used as a side dish.

Chicken Pillows Recipe

"Chicken Pillows"

When I had my first child, my cousin in law come over to make us dinner for our first night home. She made something she found on Pinterest called Chicken Pillows. She told me how she made them but I had nearly forgotten by the time I went to make them myself. Since then, I have perfected a version of my own that I will share!


Ingredients:

4 tubes of Crescent Rolls

I used a tray of 10 chicken breast tenderloins

1/2 cup sour-cream

2 cups of shredded cheese, your choice of the flavor. I used Colby.

1 box of cream cheese

1 can of cream of chicken soup

2 table spoons of chopped garlic

Directions:

1. Boil the chicken tenderloins until they are cooked thoroughly. 
2. Drain the excess water from the chicken with a strainer and put it in a large mixing bowl. 
3. Add the cream cheese, shredded cheese, garlic, cream of chicken soup, and sour cream o the bowl with the chicken in it.
4. Use a hand mixer on low to mix all of the ingredients together until it is thoroughly mixed with the chicken shredded and blended among the other ingredients evenly blended. 
5. Unwrap the crescent rolls and instead of separating them into the triangles, separate them into squares by leaving two triangles together to form the square. 
6. Place the squares one at a time on greased cookie sheet . 
7. Place a scoop of the chicken filling into each square , enough that you will still be able to fold over the edges of the crescent roll.
8. You will need to take each corner of the crescent roll and fold it over the chicken filling until all gaps are sealed. 
9. Now you need to flip the chicken pillow over so that the seams you made with the pastry and place them on the cookie an inch apart as you go. 
10. I managed to fit 6 pillows on each sheet .
11. Place them into the oven at 300 degrees and bake them until they are golden in color.

Options:

• Brush lightly with garlic butter
• Serve with chicken gravy poured over the pillows

Pizza soup Recipe!

One of the struggles I have with making dinner every night and having kids is:

• Finding something that my husband and I like to eat
• Something that is as healthy BUT TASTY as I can
• Something my 3 & 4 year old will eat. 
• I struggle finding something different! 

Eating in every night can get bland and dull when ts the same pile of recipes you find yourself pulling from. I often scour the internet and dig through all of my recipe books trying to find the perfect recipe that is affordable, one I could easily replicate, and toddler approved. I jumped for joy when I found a pizza soup recipe that seemed to hit all of these spots. The kicker? It is delicious and was easy to make!

I'm not a person with a lot of time and I am kinda finicky myself. Many recipes I found used different meat options but I like using the Jimmy Dean type breakfast sandwich that comes uncooked in a plastic tube sealed at both ends. Other recipes used organic chicken sausage links, smoked sausage links all diced up etc. I wanted to use sausage that was more like the sausage I like on my pizza, so I went with the breakfast sausage so I could mash it up in a frying pan easily.

I am not a fancy cook. I like to make tasty things but make them fast and simple. I am more efficient than fancy due to limited time and I am sure I am not alone in this. That can be good and bad, but is what it is!

Ingredients

• 1 Tbsp minced Garlic
• 1 small chopped Onion
• 1 chopped Bell pepper
• 1 tube pork breakfast sausage
• 2 tsp Basil
• 1 tsp Oregano
• 32 oz ( you can find this in low sodium) veggie broth
• 1 28 oz can tomato sauce (you can also find this with no added salt)
• 1 can diced tomatoes ( you can find this with no added salt)
• 1 can of sliced black olives ( I used two smaller cans because I love black oilives)
• 1/4 cup Parmesan Cheese
• Serve with a side of whole grain toast or homemade bread

Instructions

I used a largish pot and poured in the container of veggie broth, four small 4 cans of tomato sauce into the pot. I then cracked open all of the canned ingredients and spices and tossed them in. I let them heat up together on medium heat while I cooked the sausage in a separate pan. While the sausage was cooking I diced up the onions and the green peppers and tossed them into the pot. When the sausage was done I added it into the soup ( you can drain it if it is too greasy of-course .) I then added the Parmesan cheese . I let cook until the green peppers and the onion were cooked all the way through.

When the soup was finished, I poured it into soup bowls and garnished with shredded cheese, oyster crackers and served with some home made bread on the side. My Husband said that the crackers and cheese garnish really made it taste like Pizza Soup. The kids enjoyed dipping the bread in the soup and we liked piling some of the "toppings" in it too. This pizza soup is easily one of my favorites now!

Suggested "toppings" :
Mushrooms, pepperoni, ham, etc. I also thing it would be delicious to pour the soup into oven safe soup bowls and baking some mozzarella cheese over the top.

My daily #BrassyBlogJulyChallenge post! Topic: "Bullies & Opposition" "Bully?" #3 Sometimes we're the asshole.

During my #BrassyBlogJulyChallenge I will continue to explore the topic of "Bullies and Opposition" chronologically. I will also be covering times where I feel I was the asshole in the story. I am a firm believer that we are all assholes in life, we just take turns.

One of the earliest times I feel I was a jerk to someone was when I was in third grade. There was a girl named Sheila who was always picked on. During recess I saw a couple of boys pull her off of the monkey bars. I immediately felt bad her. She landed with a thud and her glasses had fallen off of her face. I had just got glasses myself and knew what a pain they could be if they got scratched up. I ran over and handed her glasses to her and held out my hand to help her up. Sheila took my hand and stood up. In my mind I thought our exchange went well and we would cordially part our ways. Sheila then looked at me and shoved me to the ground. I was shocked. I had just helped her out of this same situation and this is how she repays me? I want to say that I gracefully got up and walked away chalking it all up to some weird wiring in her noggin, but I didn't.  I stood up, and shoved Sheila back on the ground as I had found her. I could have been "the bigger person" but I wasn't. I figured I would leave her just as I found her and vowed never to help her again.

Looking back on it, I think she may not have known how to respond to someone being nice to her. She may have been so used to being on her defense that any act of kindness  shown to her was foreign to her. She may have seen my kindness as a weakness allowing her to even her scales by letting the negativity pass from her to me. Who really knows. I do know that I handled that situation wrong in hindsight, I mean come on. I was only 9. I have always struggled with not handling situations with an "Eye for an Eye" mentality, and I can see that was present even in my younger years.

My take away:

• Not everyone is in a place to accept help or want help.
• People react differently to negative and positive behavior for a multitude of different reasons, many we may never know and kids are no different.
• Be kind without the expectation of having it reciprocated. 
• Sheila did not ask for my help. My kindness did not have to reciprocated. I should have just helped her up and maintained my intent to help without expecting her to appreciate my help.
• Everyone responds to situations differently.
• Sometimes people do not know how to accept kindness because it is very foreign to them.
• Kids can be assholes

My daily #BrassyBlogJulyChallenge post! Topic: "Bullies & Opposition" "Bully?" #2- Karma. When Tables Turn

I remember one of the first times I ever encountered the typical playground bully. I was in 1st grade. I was on the play ground playing with GI Joes with my first "Boyfriend" Andy. We were under the swings building barracks in the dirt.  Andy was smaller than most of the boys in our class. He was a dreamy little guy with bright blue eyes, dirty blonde hair and covered in freckles. He wasn't very outspoken, but he asked my little 1st grader self to circle yes or no and I circled yes because he had tiny gel caps that turned into dinos when soaked in water. Ha ha, I loved those things! Who am I kidding, I still love those things!
So there Andy was, minding his own business when all of a sudden he is lifted up into the sky by a beast. I watched in horror as this creature spun in circles with Andys little body raised above its head like it was a feather. When it was done spinning, it tossed Andy forward and Andy landed feet away with a thud. Andy didn't move, he was face down on the ground. It happened so fast because neither of us were paying attention to the Godzilla of a boy that roamed the playground! Godzilla boy had a name, it was Josh. Josh was a wall of a boy with a head of bushy loose curls and big features from head to toe. I was convinced that his hands alone could cause some sort of eclipse! One thing Josh did not have was my amazing jean jacket and my bad ass leather ankle high boots with little tassels and a metal tip on the toe. I was stylish and dressed for battle at a young age!

Picture boots like this , but tan with tassels and handy little metal tips.

I looked at Josh and then Andy and sat down my fist of plastic soldiers. I marched over to the playground Godzilla and put him to the ground with one swift kick to his meaty left leg. My mother always told me , " The bigger they are the harder they fall!" and I finally saw the truth in this with my own eyes. Andy was not the typical boy who would have been bothered by a girl taking down our mutual enemy. He actually appreciated the assistance and we carried on with out GI Battles everyday in peace while Josh limped around for a week with a bruise so big it probably could have eclipsed the sun. Andy Continued to be my BFF for most of my grade school years along with some other awesome boys and girls of course, but he was always my favorite. Our mothers would watch us sledding out Andy's dining room window and laugh at our process.To this day mine loves telling the story of me being the one to pull Andy up the huge hill of snow in the sled. I guess I have always figured that each of us were made with our own unique sets of talents, strengths, and expertise. His was supplying me with foam dinos capsules and I was the one skilled in taking down bullies and providing winter transportation up hill. What seemed entirely normal to us had both moms watching the roll reversal with laughter . Andy later moved away and we lost touch until the power of Facebook came into play decades later. Andy grew up to join the army and get married and have two adorable freckled babes of his own.

Now for Josh. The playground bully. The tidal wave to our peaceful beach. The pee in our lemonade. This wasn't my last run in with Josh, but I'll save them for a later post. I went to a small school and was stuck with that little jerk from kindergarten to graduation. Tables turned for him as the years went on. He continued to grow and grow taller, but then he started to grow wider. Kids started picking on him once we were in high-school and the bully now was the one being bullied. Because bullies are such jerks, they typically lack real true friends. They might have a few spineless shallow types who join forces with the bully because they enjoy the lifestyle, the protection, or because they prefer to stay on the bullies good side than their bad side. Who knows. There are probably plenty of reasons people align with jack-wagons like that, and since I'm not one of those people I cant honestly give an accurate reason for the "Why?"

Once we hit high-school , Josh found himself a nice little spot with the group of kids that lived in the same pair of Jnco jeans, farted on lighters and set their asses on fire , and drank bottle of food coloring so when they got wasted later that their vomit was the color of their choice. That group was in interesting group. They were friendly, entertaining, but he was the underdog in the mix now. He was more like their mascot now. They would use him to be their clown. Dare him to do stupid things to himself so they could laugh at him. He was no longer a real person to them, he was their lap dog. Their jester. The physical bully of my childhood was now being bullied mentally in his later years. To many it was poetic justice. I have an eye for eye streak in me, so that side of me was all about the Karma that was kicking in. 

Ladies and Gents! I present Jnco Jeans! Do you remember these? Ff you went to high-school in the mid to late 90's you might! 

As we made our way through each year of school, we change and morph. Our circle of friends change. Our interests change. Our footing in one social circle shifts and we find our self in an entirely new one or even spread across 3 or 4. That is where I was. I had my hands and feet in every social circle I fit into. I was a social butterfly of the highest order! I ignored and still ignore these sort of boundaries and barriers . I would have it no other way, but it is not always easy to master for everyone. It wasn't that easy for many, and it still wasn't easy for Josh. I could tell as we got closer to our junior he was growing tired of being the clown. His grades were failing. The only friends he had used him for shits and giggles. He started to pull back and chose more and more to go it alone instead of where ever he was welcomed. He started doing what many of us did, we started to mature. Our interests changed. We started looking back at where we've been and tried to figure out where we were going. He started to feel remorse. He started offering apologies to those who were still around that he had been a tool too. One of the girls he had tormented actually had left school because of her own harassment , harassment he would join in on daily. It appeared that this playground bully was leaving his cocoon and seeking a new beginning, which always works fantastically in the movies, wasn't looking to work out so well in real life. There wasn't uplifting music in the back ground. A flash mob didn't break out in the cafeteria with all of the students letting down their guard to hug and dance in harmony. There was the annual winter fest dance approaching and he didn't have a date. For obvious reasons he actually never ever attended a dance let alone ever had a date. 

Now, I had mentioned that I went to a small school. When I say it was small, it was small. We had 50 kids in my graduating class and all of us graduated. Many of us went to school with one another from kindergarten all the way to graduation. You might assume that is a cake walk. It wasn't. You couldn't just blend in with the crowd or swap social circles or friends at the drop of a hat when your friend pool was actually the size of a mud puddle. If you were the nose picker in 4th grade you were still called the nose picker in 10th grade even if you stopped picking your nose in 6th grade. 

I think that is something that we often forget as we make our way in and out of the chapters in our life. Often times our reputation does precede us and can feel like a heavy wet blanket we have to climb out from under. If you are lucky, someone may decide to lift the blanket so that you can climb out from under it with little to no struggle...but I wouldn't count on it.

It was a week before our Winterfest dance and anyone who wanted a date to it was running out of time. My girlfriends and I liked to go in a group of 5 to 6 in our early High-school years because it just felt weird going with people we've known since kindergarten. This dance ended up being entirely different that year because I actually attended it with Josh. Believe me, My friends were just as shocked. When Josh asked me to attend his first dance with him I had my reservations as you can imagine. He had a horrible reputation that followed him for obvious reasons. I had to really search hard for any redeemable qualities to justify a yes rolling out of my mouth. He was sweaty, nervous, awkward. He couldn't make eye contact. He knew he was taking a big chance asking one of us to go with him just as much as I knew I was taking a big chance going with him. It wasn't that I was worried about my reputation. That ship sailed when I embraced green glitter lipstick and holographic rainbow boots in a small country town. It was more of a trust issue. Could I trust him? The person who was trying to be? Could I forget how he had tormented everyone of us individually or with his friends? Would he be such a huge downer on my night of fun? Would I be stuck by his side because no one else would want to hang around him due to his history? I decided to go with him. I decided to give this bully a chance to continue down his path of change. The only thing I had to lose was perhaps a night of fun with my girls. I had seen enough change in him that I felt I would have been just as much of a jack-wagon to not toss him a key to free him from his reputation prison. I would have wanted someone to do the same for me.  

My Take Away?

• People can change if they want to change.
• We don't owe anyone a second chance
• Second chances are circumstantial in my book. It all depends on the who, what, where, when and why.
• If you feel someone has put in the time and attention to warrant a second chance, approach with baby steps and gauge how you feel during the process. Some people are great manipulators and see kindness as weakness. Listen to your gut instinct, not your heart.
• I was raised to treat others the way I wished to be treated so that plays a large part in how I interact with others to this day. I find that it is more than a cliche, it is a compass for my actions.
• People change as we grow and roll with life and it's punches. 
• Sometimes we change for the best and it is hard to change how people perceive us. That is something to always keep in mind. It may have taken you 10 negative actions to dig you into the hole you're in but it can take more to dig you out. Think before you act.

The #BrassyBlogJulyChallenge is here! Topic: "Bullies & Opposition" "Bully?" #1- Bullies come in all shapes & sizes with varied awareness.

Bully #1:
I am approaching my #BrassyBlogJulyChallenge chronoligically, so what better place to begin other than kindergarten? Her name was Sabrina. Adorable name right!? If by adorable you mean "robs your desk cubbie to break your crayons and eat your paste", then you are correct! DING DING DING! We have a winner! The first "bully" I remember encountering was a girl in kindergarten named Sabrina. She sat next to me in our classroom and for some reason she decided to reach into my desk daily to break my crayons and eat my paste. Granted we were 5, but you didn't see my 5 year old booty busting into desks to break crayons and eat paste! I would go home every day and complain to my mom about this horrible little girl who stalked my desk. Sabrina would wait for me to leave so she could eat my paste and break my crayons. When you are 5, and your desk doesn't have a lock...what are you supposed to do in order to protect your belongings?! I hated finding all of my crayons broke and my paste empty . Not only did I look like the weirdo who couldn't color without breaking her crayons but I also looked like the weirdo who ATE THEIR FREAKING PASTE! I was always having to borrow paste and color with broken crayons. Something had to be done.

 No one would listen to my complaints...so I did the only only thing I could think of. I swapped out my crayons and paste with my neighbor Margies crayons and paste and then replaced them before she sat down. As brilliant as that scenario played out in my 5 year old head, I actually made the situation a lot worse. In hindsight, I clearly see the error in my passive aggressive solution ! My 5 year old self felt it was a brilliant solution until Margie peered into her desk that morning to find her crayons broke and paste consumed. Yes! I WIN! My crayons and paste were safe! I had tucked them in the back corner and placed Margie's up front for Sabrina to have her way with!  Well, I thought I won until Margie looked at me and accused me of doing it!

The down side was that Margie thought I was the weird paste eating crayon breaking 5 year old! Obviously that did not work as intended! I went back to allowing Sabrina to break and eat my art supplies while waiting for conferences to come. I wanted to show my mom who this little beast was , the one who decimated my stuff daily. 

Well.. conferences came and I was ready to point out the evil little tormentor to my mother. I was pretty sure that once she laid eyes on this little monster I would feel vindicated. Sabrina showed up to conferences with her mom and I pointed her out to my mom. My mother went over and introduced herself to the crew and immediately made friends with my paste eating neighbor and her mom. NOTHING was handled. She took one look at this tiny little girl with curly back ringlets and bright blue eyes and acted as thought I was over reacting. She said, " That was the bully! She's like a foot shorter than you!" 

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes!

The truth is, when it comes to bullying.. size isn't a factor and in this case Sabrina was just a little girl with a paste eating addiction and an odd hatred toward crayons. She didn't have hateful feelings toward me. In reality, she most likely had bizarre looking bowel movements from all of the paste she was eating...On the flip side, this made me realize that we can be bullies without realizing it.. I learned at a young age, opposition and bullies can come in all shapes AND sizes with varying degrees of awareness. As a parent, I will never discount my child's complaints regarding something that is bringing he/ her distress. Looking back, I just needed to ask my neighbor with the paste addiction, "WHY!?" instead of sacrificing poor Margies Crayons and paste...

My take away?

• Bullies come in all shapes and sizes.
• Some may not be aware they are causing anyone distress by their actions. 
• Don't discount the validity of someones reports of being bullied and ill treatment based on what you see or think. Just because it doesn't seem possible to you doesn't mean something is not happening.

The #BrassyBlogJulyChallenge is here! Topic: "Bullies & Opposition"

The #BrassyBlogJulyChallenge  is here! 

Topic: "Bullies" & Opposition. 

I'm choosing to approach this challenge chronologically, concentrating on 

"How I've learned something from each one I have encountered."

I have seen many blog challenges pass my social media feed and to be honest blogging on the "reg" is often a challenge for many of us on it's own! I know it is for me! I always feel the itch to express myself. Sometimes it is through 140 characters on Twitter. Sometimes it is through an art project I have decided to tackle. Sometimes it is in the form of a letter i crumple up and never send. Sometimes it is when I stub my toe and yell "shitassholedietable!" in the privacy of my dining room at 7am... but this time I have decided to tackle a theme in my life AND my half ass blogging. Opposition. The "bullies". The resistance, hostility, and antagonism that has molded me, tested me , and has shaped me for the good or the bad into the person I am today. Not everyone is wired to look for the silver lining in a bad situation. Some have the ability to do so but not the desire to do so. I can only speak for myself in this journey but I welcome you to join me regardless if you ave blogged before or not. In my opinion, life is about learning and we have more material to learn from when others join us. I will be approaching this challenge chronologically, so I am pretty sure traveling back and revisited circumstances will prove to be an entirely new experience for me all together. 

I have chosen to create this blog challenge because:

• I feel it is something that everyone can relate to on some level. I have learned a great deal about myself and those around me through my experiences with the bully type beings who have come and gone through my life.
• I personally feel that there is something valuable that can come out of the worst of situations. This of-course differs greatly depending on the person and the situation and their values, but as I stated these are my experiences. 
• I think sharing our struggles, no matter how trivial or serious, can help someone in some way and that is enough for me.
• I think it is important for people to see that no matter where, who or what we are in life, we can always find ourselves fighting some sort of battle with some sort of villain. Sometimes that villain is outside of us, sometimes it is "inside" of us, and sometimes we are the villain whether we realize it or not.

This blog challenge started as a personal one for me.  I started writing my first two posts and soon realized it wouldn't hurt to invite anyone who feels inspired to share their own voice right along with me!

How long will this challenge run? I am going t be honest. I am a commitment-phobe so just the idea of  blogging and blog challenge is a challenge enough for me!

 BUT! 

In the spirit of challenging myself to move past certain barriers is a goal of mine. A topic like this is kind of hard to set a number to because I plan to share from my heart and mind. This will evolve organically. 

BUT!

For the sake of those who like nice neat ribbons to mark the finish line, the challenge end date will be till the end of July to allow for those who join us late to still be able to join us in sharing, learning, growing and working though the various forms of opposition we have faced, are facing, and continue to face. 

I have never hosted a blog challenge. I have never successfully completed one. 

BUT!

Everyone has to start somewhere so this is my starting point. 

I welcome you to join me in whatever capacity you feel comfortable doing so. 

I will be tagging my posts on social media with #BrassyBlogJulyChallenge and whatever Hashtag best describes my post. 

Everyone will approach this challenge from their own point of view and I think that is going to be the beauty of this challenge! We will all put in our own experiences and hopefully be able to pull , grow, and learn from the brave bloggers choosing to share in this challenge with me.

I'm ready to get started and I welcome anyone who wants to join in !

<3 Esme