Safety over Happiness!

Good Morning!

I have totally fallen off of the #Blaugust Band Wagon. I had every intention on catching up as I was a week or so behind when it started but the summer boss has kicked my butt and sent me packing but I am still going to go on with my original goal of my blog and post as much as I want to and can.

GAMING!
Sadly, no gaming on my PC :( My computer is still in the "Shop" and I hope to have it back this week because HOLY MOTHER OF PIXELS I miss gaming. I am still enjoying my time in the Mobile MMORPG Taichi Panda which is actually a lot of fun! It has gear, daily treasure digs, lots of awards, solo dungeons, instanced boss fights, guilds, friends lists, events, etc. This is the first time I am really really impressed regarding the quality of a mobile game so far.

LIFE:
We recently celebrated my daughters 3rd birthday ( just a small party for now) and had a Baby shower to attend and will be throwing a joint Birthday celebration for both of our kids to make it more accessible to my husbands large family. My side of the family is very sparse.  We either have all been separated by busy work schedules and grew apart over the past decade or the cool people who were the "family" Glue have long passed away. Sometimes, when I am in my cynical and realist state, I count this as a blessing. After losing my father, I began questioning the importance of having close friendships and close family members as the pain and agony one feels when they pass can be too overwhelming for many. On my darkest days it always seems to be easier to not get close to anyone ever again because it is just easier that way. I tell myself that the because of the pain I felt but then I think how boring  and unrewarding life would be if we were to never find our tribe of like minded people to share the hills and valleys of life with. Lets be honest, that ship has sailed for me anyways! I am a wife and a mom! I have people relying on me so any notion of isolation would never come to fruition because of love, its a messy thing:)  So upon coming to that realization on my grief journey, I put my muck boots back on and prepared for the future knowing that at some point it is going to get messy again and I will make it through just as I do everyday.

PARENTING:

A common phrase that comes out of my mouth is SAFETY OVER HAPPINESS. I say it often to my husband when he is caught between doing what is right and upsetting one of our kids OR taking a gamble at safety to make them happy... The situation normally involves  our daughter not wanting to sit and eat her dinner. She wants to take a bite and run around. When we ask her to stay seated while she is eating, she looks at him and gives him the basic puppy dog eyes. I see him start to think about what he can do to make her happy. He normally then offers her a compromise like, "Well as long as you don't run you can take a bite." He does this because he is what I call, "The New guy". He spends less time at home with the kids because he is our bread winner. He goes out into the world to make as much money as he can and brings it back home to complete our goal in life, which is to not have to put our kids in Daycare. This means that he wants the time he spends at home to be jolly and fun and fantastic in the eyes of his two babies. Now, don't get me wrong! I want that too! I want them to be happy, but I want them to be SAFE first, then happy. I am the parent who stays home with our baby nuggets all day and all night. I know every mood, every sound, every attitude trigger. I can call out their next move before they do it. I am the senior employee here at the Sky household. I like to run a tight ship. I know that my daughter will smile and tell him that she will walk and chew then take a few steps then "POOF!" Baby moon will be on the run right back to where we began.

I like to cut out the messy middle ground and be firm by saying, "NO. You will sit in your big girl chair and eat your dinner like mommy and daddy." OR  sometimes I like to follow his lead and meet in the middle and allow her to finish a few bites then let her go and play then come back and sit down and finish a few more bites. She is only 3 years old and little ones have a very short attention span so when I can get them to safely eat AND eat without a fuss I choose the WIN WIN situation.

Yesterday I responded to a tweet from someone I follow on Twitter that asked our opinion of their coworker who wants to let their 8 year old join Twitter. They were asking if there was a child friendly version of Twitter for them to suggest to their coworker. The first thought that came to my mind was, "The only safe Twitter for an 8 year old to be on is NO TWITTER AT ALL!"  NONE! ZERO! ZILCH! NADA! Their coworkers child is really into Minecraft and one of the people they watch Minecraft videos of wanted their viewers to join twitter from what I understood. I may have interpreted that part wrong but 140 characters on twitter does not allow a full scope of any story to be accurately shared so that is what I came away with.  So basically my reply was, "NO. SAFETY OVER the HAPPINESS of the child." Just because some stranger on the Internet requests their fans to join twitter and your child wants to obey them, YOU ARE THEIR PARENT. YOU! YOU ARE! Not the der da der on the other side of the computer screen. Just because someone requests something of you or your child does not mean you have to comply.  I was thrilled the person I follow put this out on Twitter for us to answer because they felt it was wrong and wanted to get more feedback. The fact is, Twitter is for 17 year olds and up. It says that when you go to download the application from the google play store. It frustrates me how much parents choose the EASY road and the COOL road over the RIGHT road or the SAFE road.Do your homework! If I could go around and smack people on their foreheads like the V8 commercials show, I completely would do it. SAFETY OVER HAPPINESS . Sure, their kid would whine and cry that they can't join twitter but I would choose that any day instead of having some nasty pedophile trying to prey on my 8 year old any day. 

Safety OVER happiness.

In every situation, I still always choose safety OVER happiness. I think a lot of parents struggle with wanting to be LIKED by their kid instead of doing what is right and what is safe. I feel it is our job to protect our children from their self until they exhibit the ability to make responsible safe decisions for their self. My mom always told me growing up that there is a time to let your kids flap their wings and fly a little bit out of the nest and I agree with her, but that takes place in the late teen years and not the toddler years. I know that if my husband struggles with this concept I know a lot of other parents do too. I am trying to get him to see that a few unhappy tears are better then tears that come from injury. I prefer an unhappy kid over one who is choking on food because she was allowed to run and eat.  In my opinion it is always best to remind yourself, SAFETY OVER HAPPINESS because the result of allowing your child to behave in an unsafe manner can only bring despair in the long run. The happiness you think you are giving them by giving in to them is short lived when they are injured or dead.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart, the lazy or "people pleasers". You will get messy. You will feel like you have failed. You will feel exhausted, but you will also feel total amazement and a love like you have never felt. We are in charge of these little lives we have brought into the world and it is our task to do it to the best of our ability. I am very blunt, passionate, and opinionated regarding this topic. I feel that we as parents have a duty to keep our children safe from others and themselves by thoroughly thinking everything through and doing what it is in their best interest opposed to doing what is the easiest.

Time to send my baby nuggets to sleep land!

Enjoy your day and keep doing the best that you can!

Esme out :)

( Also, if you are the praying type of soul, please pray for a family friend of mine named Meagan who has a 50% chance of surviving a gull stone that is wedged near her pancreas. We just found out she had been battling with this gull bladder issue for 2 weeks and it recently took a turn for the worse. I had no idea it could get this bad, she is a mom of 4 small children and a very loving woman. I have faith in the power of prayer and ask that you pray for her if you feel inclined to do so. If you do not I respect that choice as well. Thank you !!!!)